Online dating dictionary Sexy chat with starngers
With a new(ish) form of dating comes a new vocabulary.Here’s a short-list of our some of the most popular words associated with online dating. ALGORITHM Google defines this as “a process or set of rules to be followed in calculations or other problem-solving operations, especially by a computer.” In terms of dating apps, each one has a different algorithm.A date would necessitate the removal of the roof and a whale sling. NOT INTO EMAIL TENNIS I need to secure a date as soon as possible, before you suss out what a tedious dullard I am. A woman's place is in the home and, more precisely, the kitchen - preferably cooking his meals and elbow deep in his dirty shirts. He'll order for you in a restaurant and pat you on the bottom and say 'don't you worry your pretty head about it' when you ask him about his day. Only to be pursued if you like men who moult all over your furniture. Speak slowly and clearly and always be within five minutes of a toilet. Cuddling is very unlikely, although squashing is a distinct possibility. The good news is he travels for free and gets in half-price at the cinema. The sort of person you cross the road to avoid, even if the road is the M1 in the rushhour. I present to you my unabridged, unabashed, online dating dictionary…. I’m looking for someone willing to overlook my hideousness. You can also find me on Twitter (I am not the creator of Twitter).
There’s also another story floating around the Internet and the Urban Dictionary that “bae” stands for “before anyone else.” So romantic. Translation: When his ad says 'rugby player's build' he doesn't mean Jonny Wilkinson, he really means Johnny Vegas DISCRETION EXPECTED I'm married and don't want my wife to know.INDEPENDENT Lying, cheating commitment-phobic scum. You just have to realize that the menus may stretch the truth somewhat. Any social reject can figure out that people exercise plenty of factual calisthenics in their online profiles. Now, if you will excuse me, this laid-back, athletic smart-ass has some profiles to fill out in his quest to find a real, genuine, open-minded girl with a good head on her shoulders. By night, I am a relationships and comedy writer, which can be redundant or an oxymoron, depending on your perspective.
To that end, I’ve compiled my own list of the most overused online dating aphorisms I’ve come across, and the not-so-scrumptious, not-quite-as-appetizing truths behind them. I am the creator of Musings, the blog you're reading right now, and Lemon Vibe, an anonymous relationship advice site.They like you but they’re not really that interested.